Picnic Gone Very Wrong (Anxiety 2.0 Series)

By: pbcmedia

Mar 31 2009

Tags: , , , , , ,

Category: ANXIETY 2.0, CHILDREN, Deep Thoughts, Family, FEAR THE SERIES, Humor, Life, Personal, Photography


Focal Length:16mm
Shutter:1/0 sec
Camera:Canon EOS 5D

It was her idea.  She wanted to go on a picnic with Pappy (moi) and her six year old sister after we went to the “Iberry”.  She is three and this was her first picnic.  And, maybe her last.

I call it the picnic that went wrong.

She ran around so much her heel skin rubbing against her Ugg boots got irritated and a patch of tender skin tore off.  She screamed, “I want my Mommie!”  Ok. Ok.  We’ll just take the boot off and walk back to the car with one barefoot.  Screams ensued and more eye and nose liquid than I thought possible in one small human being.

I offered to take off my shoe and sock, so the both of us could walk back to the car with one barefoot.

The six year old sister yells out, “Pappy, you’re not going to show that toe, are you?”

(I’ve got a bad toe, ok?   I ‘ve learned to keep it covered up around small children.)

“O, boy,”  I say.  “How about I put my sock on your sister’s foot while you look away toward the library and then I’ll put my foot back into my shoe, sockless, but covered up?”

Deal.  It even made the three year old laugh a bit putting on Pappy’s sock but the laughter didn’t last because she insisted on putting her foot back into the offending Ugg boot.

“I want my mommie!”

“Me, too, honeychile.  Me, too.”

We set off toward the car.  The three old limped like her leg had been amputated. The six year old ran far ahead so there was no chance she’d catch sight of my toe.

When we got home, their mother opened the door and the screams started.

My screams not theirs.

How do parents do it?

The next day I dropped something off at their house and the three year old said, “No more picnics, Pappy!”

Deal, sweet girl.

©Pat Coakley 2009

7 comments on “Picnic Gone Very Wrong (Anxiety 2.0 Series)”

  1. I once was reading about the history of heroin. Apparently it was sold under the name of “Laudenum” in the Victorian era and it was quite often used on teething babies so their parents could get a break from the screaming.

    Too bad you can’t buy it anymore as it would make an excellent additive to something like a cup cake when painful things happen to children.

    No screaming, just dragon riding.

    Of course the down side would be when they grow up and steal your TV to get another fix.

  2. the photograph-what an image, a child’s eyeview on how a regular something becomes frightful. that is one great picture. and i could feel the story. youch, its been a long time since those kidshoe blistering days, but i do remember how it felt, and your wanting her mommy too cracked me up.

  3. Pappy-

    You were worried about this picnic since it’s inception…. a nightmare comes true. I told you to find the Teddybears !…

  4. Razz, I laughed out loud at your last sentence. So true! One of my favorite HBO TV series was “Deadwood” and it was Old West, mid 1800’s and one character was hooked on “laudeneum”. I thought it was morphine but now that you say, “heroin”, I bet that’s exactly what it was.

    Tipota, that is exactly right..when something regular becomes frightful! This is one of those pictures that started in my head first.

    Hj—Ah, it was going so well…until it just didn’t! Teddybear picnics don’t involve running, do they?

  5. Big laugh out loud to Razz for that comment.
    I think it’s the parents that need to ‘ride the dragon”. Parenting, like aging, is not for sissies!

  6. You should be writing photoshop tutorials instead of me. Amazing image.

  7. This is such a disturbing photo. I love it & continue to hate Ugg boots.

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