Cousins

My lying cousin Mary is on the left.  She flew into town (I thought) to help celebrate her niece and my best buddy, Tina, who is a breast cancer survivor alive and well & kickin’ you know what.

But, no, it was a surprise birthday party for me and, it turns out for Mary, too, as it is her 65th birthday later in the month.

My nephew John said I must have been brain dead not to have realized the truth.

The gloves are always off in my family.  No refuge from brutality even on your 65th.

Well, brain dead it is cuz I didn’t know.

I was toasted at the party by the husband of one of party organizers and despite being dreamy looking (if you have cataracts) was wearing a sweaty gray T shirt that you usually see someone wearing in Gold’s Gym after going twelve rounds with the heavyweight champion of the world.   He  had the nerve to say I was the biggest pain in the rear to plan a party around and he was so glad it was over and didn’t have to hear each morning the latest road block I’d thrown across his wife’s bow on trying to pulling this party off.

Alright, alright…he did have a point.  I did email the initial invitation to “Tina’s” party and say, “Hello, people.  It’s New England.  February.  You know–the month usually described as snow and icy?  I’m not driving on Rt. 495 for an hour to Concord (my cousin’s house) no matter how much I love Tina.!  Let’s have a pot luck party at my house.  I’m closer to everyone anyway.  We’ll save mermaid costs if we have to cancel due to weather.”  (This is the crowd that hires mermaids to entertain at pool parties in the summer.)

And, so it began for these well-meaning folks to try and get me the hell out of the house on a February evening.

It took every lying gene in my family’s DNA helix and, as it turns out, we have an excess of that gene in our spiraling Irish helix: we are one deceitful but charming group is all I can say.

But, sadly, not all of us in the family got the sartorial gene and really, really don’t know how to dress for a 65th birthday party, but I’m not naming any names.

Oh, yeah.   I lied about not naming names.

Bob Kinlin.

Thank you, all.

©PAT COAKLEY 2010

THANKS TO KAREN COAKLEY FOR THIS PHOTOGRAPH.  SHE MANAGED TO GET A PHOTO OF ME SMILING WITHOUT BROCCOLI IN MY TEETH!

••Select photographs from this blog and my wider archive can be purchased at www.patcoakley.com